Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
