Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize