is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
