They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
