Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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