I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
