i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
