she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Terrible idea I love it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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