I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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