who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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