i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
