We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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