i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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