I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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