I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
