Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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