The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
