Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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