you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
