i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize