So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
