remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize