guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The best revenge is premature balding
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
