# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
