My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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