I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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