No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
