Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize