my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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