There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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