I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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