I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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