on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
