It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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