i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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