What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
