I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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