Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
dude. I can hear the air.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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