Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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