My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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