I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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