You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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