people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
