You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
