11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
