ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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