you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
