i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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