does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
