I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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