My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
