Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
