i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
