Im at strip club and am horny
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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