when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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