I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I touched a dick in church today
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
