hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
