i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
