you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
