he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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