That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
