The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
