Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize