Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
