I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
even my farts smell like vagina
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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