They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
