This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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