did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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