Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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