OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
