for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
